Dumb Laws in the U.S.
It's true some laws truly are dumb, but there are a few of these that if enforced overseas and in the U.S. it would bring a change for the good of all people, especially our children.   The children which our country is so fond of saying are the most important thing now and for the future of our country; yet, the actions of our society  in regards to the carrying and teaching of the children unfortunately proves otherwise.  The laws in red bold print are the ones I feel are "keepers" with my personal comments in bold blue.

Florida

• Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
• A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
• If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
• It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.  
  Might not be a bad idea, depending on the type of bathing suit.  If it's a thong make them go home and change, or arrest them for indecent exposure.
• It is illegal to skateboard without a license.
  After almost being knocked down numerous times myself and watched others jumping out of the way of inconsiderate skate boarders, this law makes perfect sense to me.  And they should get points against there license too when skating in places they're not suppose to and pay endangerment fines.
• You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays.
  What could have possibly happened to justify the making of this law? And what happened to the first person who broke it?  Do they put you in a gas tank, like the drunk tank, until you've passed it all out of your system?  And it would have to be a non-smoking tank too.
• It is considered an offense to shower naked.
  If it's an outside shower on the beach or in a neighbor's yard by the pool, then you betcha' it's offensive.
• You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.
• Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.

Cape Coral
It is against the city ordinance to hang your clothes outside on a clothesline.
I think this law would come in handy if I lived next door to the owner or a patron of the Leather Master shop.

Daytona Beach
The molestation of trash cans is banned.

Hialeah
Ambling and strolling is a misdemeanor.

Key West
Chickens are considered a 'protected species'.
I know at first look this law may sound dumb or crazy, but  years ago some neighbors of mine were using chickens and other small animals in satanic rituals that included sacrificing these animals, and they did it in their open backyard 5 feet away from my apartment door.  So if you live next to people who practice black magic, it's a very good law to have on the books.

Pensacola
Citizens may not be caught downtown without at least 10 dollars on their person.

A women can be fined (only after death), for being electrocuted in a bath-tub because of using self-beautification utensils.

Sarasota
If you hit a pedestrian you are fined $78.00.

Tampa Bay
It is illegal to eat cottage cheese on Sunday after 6:00 P.M.

Alabama

• It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
  It's just too sad and ridiculous to realize some fool did this and caused the making of this law.
• Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.
• It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
• Boogers may not be flicked into the wind. 
   It's hard to imagine what happened to cause the making of this law.
• Unlawful bear exploitation; penalties (a) A person commits the offense of unlawful bear exploitation if he or she knowingly does any one of the following: (1) Promotes, engages in, or is employed at a bear wrestling match. (2) Receives money for the admission of another person to a place kept for bear wrestling. (3) Sells, purchases, possesses, or trains a bear for bear wrestling. (4) For purposes of exploitation, subjects a bear to surgical alteration in any form, including, but not limited to, declawing, tooth removal, and severing tendons. (b) Unlawful bear exploitation is a Class B felony and is punishable as provided by law. -Section 13A-12-5 (Passed in 1996)
• It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.
• You must have windshield wipers on your car.
• You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.
• Masks may not be worn in public.
• Men may not spit in front of the opposite sex.
  You wouldn't think this law was dumb if you'd seen what my father-n-law spit out his door one day hitting my car window with me sitting inside! I truly almost lost my breakfast.
• You may not drive barefooted.
• It is illegal to maim oneself to escape duty.
• It is illegal to impersonate a person of the clergy.
  And yet Paul Crouch and Benny Hinn get away with it everyday, all over the world.

Anniston
You may not wear blue jeans down Noble Street.

Jasper
It is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.
Whose the brains behind this law,  and are they related to O.J. Simpson?

Lee County
It is illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Wednesday.

Mobile
It is unlawful to howl at ladies inside the city limits.
Should be unlawful to do such anywhere and anytime!

Georgia

• It is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body which lies in a funeral home or in a coroners office.
  But sadly now days it's perfectly fine to curse anywhere and anytime in front of children who are alive and influenced to use such vulgar speech themselves.  When I was growing up the saying "Hear no evil, See no evil, Speak no evil" was a popular phrase.  And I can remember the adults watching their language and behavior in front of me and when they did slip apologize for the curse word.  In today's society the phrase should be "Hear all evil, See all evil, Speak all evil" because that's exactly what our country is pumping into the children through the media, books, computer games, music, and toys.  And then we act horrified when a child kills a person, well what should we expect when a child takes in more filth and junk in to their minds from the such early ages as 2 or 3?  You won't get the same well behaved or happy children produced back in the 50's, 60's, or even 70's.  Those children were influenced by Roy Rogers, Howdy Doody, Captain Kangaroo, and the Brady Bunch.  Today's kids are influenced by things like Pokemon, Austin Powers, Marilyn Manson, The World Wrestling Federation, and Snoop Doggy Dog to name just a few of the violent, sexually deviant, and satanic influences of the day.  Children in those days acted and thought more like the kids on Family Affair or The Brady Bunch VS. the children of today who act and think like the kids on The Simpsons Show, Rosanne, or even South Park.  A very big and sad difference in morals and attitudes.  How sad it was to witness a family member watch with her teen daughter in laughter a movie where the lead character is totally disrespectful to women and feels they are his sex toys.  What did this mother's acceptance through her laughter and enjoyment of repeatedly watching a movie with  this character's immoral lifestyle as the storyline convey to her teenage daughter? OOOKAAY, I've completely gotten off track, sorry. Let's go on now and laugh at some dumb laws.
• You have the right to commit simple battery if provoked by "fighting" words.
• Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs.
• No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday.

Atlanta
Against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.

One man may not be on another man's back.

Columbus
Can't cut off a chicken's head on Sunday.

It is illegal to carry a chicken by it's feet down Broadway on Sunday.

Gainesville
Chicken must be eaten with the hands.

Jonesboro
It is illegal to say "Oh, Boy"

Kennesaw
Every head of household must possess a firearm of some kind. 

Marietta
Though it is illegal to spit from a car or bus, citizens may spit from a truck.

St. Mary's
No spitting on the sidewalk is permitted after dark.

Quitman
It is illegal for a chicken to cross the road.
Well there's the answer, he never crossed the road to begin with because it's illegal.

Cars are not to drive on sidewalks.

Louisiana
It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.

It is illegal to gargle in public places.

New Orleans
You may not tie an alligator to a fire hydrant.

It illegal for a woman to drive a car unless her husband is waving a flag in front of it.

Indiana

• Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March.
• It is illegal to sell cars on Sunday.
• A man over the age of 18 may be arrested for statutory rape if the passenger in his car is not wearing her socks and shoes, and is under the age of 17.
• It is against the law to pass a horse on the street.
• It is illegal for a liquor store to sell cold soft drinks. 
• Liquor stores may not sell milk. 
• Grocery stores may not sell any type of cold liquor.
• You can get out of paying for a dependent's medical care by praying for him/her. 
  This law sure would help people in wanting to have a closer walk with God and may improve Church attendance as well.
• One man may not back into a parking spot because it prevents police officers from seeing the license plate.
• Smoking in the state legislature building is banned, except when the legislature is in session.
• Check forgery can be punished with public flogging up to 100 stripes.
• Pedestrians crossing the highway at night are prohibited from wearing tail lights.
• No one may catch a fish with his bare hands.
• Drinks on the house are illegal.
• You are required to pour your drink into a glass.
• "Spiteful Gossip" and "talking behind a person's back" are illegal.
  I wonder what the punishment for breaking this one is? I'll bet we're all glad this one's not in our state laws or forgotten about!
• State government officials who engage in private duels can be dismissed from their post.
  What a shame! Think of the missed out opportunities for a hit t.v. show. I bet it'd be bigger than Survivor.
• All males 18 to 50 years old must work six days a year on public roads.
• Mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans.
  What about a law making it illegal to habitually kiss other humans?!
• Hotel sheets must be exactly 99 inches long and 81 inches wide.
• If any person has a puppet show, wire dancing or tumbling act in the state of Indiana and receives money for it, they will be fined $3 under the Act to Prevent Certain Immoral Practices.
• Anyone 14 or older who profanely curses or swears by the name of God, Jesus Christ or the Holy Ghost, shall be fined one to three dollars for each offense, with a maximum fine of ten dollars per day.
  Great law only fine needs to be higher and applied to the movie and television industries.

Elkhart
It is illegal for barbers to threaten to cut off kid's ears.

Evansville
While driving on Main Street you may not have your lights on.

Gary
Within four hours of eating garlic, a person may not enter a movie house, theater, or ride a public streetcar.

South Bend
It is illegal to make a monkey smoke a cigarette.
"I know your Honor, but he really, really wanted the cigarette!  There his favorite and they help him to relax."  Why would anyone even think to give a monkey a cigarette?

Terre Haute
No one may spit on the sidewalk.
I think spitting in public anywhere is gross, but especially on the sidewalk.

Mississippi

Oxford
It is illegal to drive around the town square more than 100 times in a single session.

One may not spit on the sidewalks on the square.

Horn honking is not permitted as it might scare horses.

Tylertown
It is unlawful to shave in the center of main street.

Missouri

Worrying squirrels is not tolerated.
What about shooting squirrels, is that okay?

Kansas City
Minors are not allowed to purchase cap pistols, however they may buy shotguns freely.

Installation of bathtubs with four legs resembling animal paws is prohibited.

Marceline
Minors can buy rolling paper and tobacco but not lighters.
Well that makes as much sense as pot being illegal to smoke, but anyone can purchase drug paraphernalia, and clothes and posters with marijuana leafs or magic mushrooms on them.  And such so called "family stores" like Sam Goody have no problem selling these kinds of things to youth.

Marquette
It is illegal for more than four unrelated persons to occupy the same dwelling (The Brothel Law).

Mole
Frightening a baby is in violation of the law.

Natchez
It shall be unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants.

Purdy
Dancing is strictly prohibited.
Did this town learn nothing from "Footloose?"  Actually come to think of it, maybe that's the reason for this law because when people dance they want to drink, party, and then the stupidity and fights begin. And Footloose is a movie full of teens fighting, drinking, and dancing.

St. Louis
A milk man may not run while on duty.
Can he power walk?

University City
Four women may not rent an apartment together.

Texas

• When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.
• A city ordinance states that a person cannot go barefoot without first obtaining a special five-dollar permit.
• You can be legally married by publicly introducing a person as your husband or wife 3 times.
• It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. You don't need a windshield, but you must have the wipers.
• It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.
  Excuse me, but shouldn't it be illegal to shoot the President from the second story?
• It is illegal to milk another person's cow.
• A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
  And then in turn the victim will let the criminal know how they intend on filling their belly with led if they set foot on their property, right?
• The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.

Austin
Wire cutters can not be carried in your pocket.
No, cause that's where you carry your Bowie knife.

Beaumont
Collegiate football is banned at Lamar University.

Borger
It is against the law to throw confetti, rubber balls, feather dusters, whips or quirts (riding crop), and explosive firecrackers of any kind.

Clarendon
It is illegal to dust any public building with a feather duster.

El Paso
Churches, hotels, halls of assembly, stores, markets, banking rooms, railroad depots, and saloons are required to provide spittoons "of a kind and number to efficiently contain expectorations into them."

Houston
It is illegal to sell Limburger cheese on Sunday.

Galveston
It is illegal to drive a motor car down Broadway before noon on Sundays.

Jasper
Dogs must be on a leash at ALL times. Fine of 100 dollars.

Lubbock County
It is illegal to drive within an arm's length of alcohol - including alcohol in someone else's blood stream.

Mesquite
It is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts.
This is good only add to it that it's also illegal for them to wear spiked jewlery, satanic emblems, black nail polish, and white face paint and then make it a national law.

Richardson
It is now illegal to place a "for sale" sign on a car if it visible from the street.

It is illegal to do "U Turns".

San Antonio
It is illegal for both sexes to flirt or respond to flirtation using the eyes and/or hands.

It is illegal to urinate on the Alamo.
Good to know.  Does that mean it's A Okay to do so on the other buildings in San Antonio?

Temple
No one may ride a horse and buggy through the town square.

You can ride your horse in the saloon.

Cattle thieves may be hanged on the spot.

Texarkana
Owners of horses may not ride them at night without tail lights

Kentucky

• Any person who displays, handles or uses any kind of reptile in connection with any religious service or gathering shall be fined not less than fifty dollars ($50) nor more than one hundred dollars ($100). -KRS 437.060 (Passed 1942, from Ky. Stat. sec. 1267a-1.).
• It is illegal to fish with a bow and arrow in Kentucky.
• It's illegal to fish in the Ohio River in Kentucky without an Indiana Fishing License.

By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground."
"Aaahhh,  I've fallen and I can't hold onto the ground!" (?)

Owensboro
A woman may not buy a hat without her husband's permission.

South Carolina

• It is a capital offense to inadvertently kill someone while attempting suicide.
• Every adult male must bring a rifle to church on Sunday in order to ward off Indian attacks.
• It is perfectly legal to beat your wife on the court house steps on Sundays.
  Obviously another O.J. law.
• When approaching a four way or blind intersection in a non-horse driven vehicle you must stop 100 ft from the intersection and discharge a firearm into the air to warn horse traffic.
• Horses may not be kept in bathtubs.
• It is considered an offense to get a tattoo. 
  I only agree with this law after seeing so many evil and hateful tattoos, like the one on a teenage boy's leg of a Nazi symbol filled in with a rebel flag.  There's just no need to give extra ways for people to display hate or filth.
• Performing a U-turn within 1,000 feet of an intersection is illegal.
• Musical instruments may not be sold on Sunday. 
• No work may be done on Sunday. 
  Well it does seem like back in the 1970's when more businesses were closed on Sundays or at least  were only open noon to 5pm that more people went to church and that's a very good thing.
• An exception to the above law is that light bulbs may be sold. 
• All schools must prepare a suitable program for Francis Willard Day. 
• Dance halls may not operate on Sundays. 
• Merchandise may not be sold within a half mile of a church unless fruit is being sold. 
• Fortune tellers are required to obtain a special permit from the state. 
  Okay as long as it says something like "This permit entitles the said holder to perform witch craft and/or trick others into believing made up stories/lies while engaging in occult activities which is against the word of God and can send their soul to hell."
• A railroad may not remove itself from a town of more than five hundred people. 
• Railroad companies may be held liable in some instances for scaring horses. 
• By law, if a man promises to marry an unmarried woman, the marriage must take place. 
• It is illegal to communicate with a woman using obscene messages. 
  It seems now days that's the only way both men and women know how to communicate with each other. We need this law everywhere.
  

The Fire Department may blow up your house.  This law was made so that the fire department could create a fire brake.
That settles it. I'm never moving to Charleston.

Fountain Inn
Horses are to wear pants at all times.

Lancaster County
It is illegal to dance in public in Lancaster.

Spartanburg
Eating watermelons in the Magnolia Street cemetery is forbidden.